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I once had a blossoming relationship go pear-shaped when the new lady in my life, who’d never had children, got in a strop because I was taking too long to show one of my sons how to use a whipper-snipper and we were late for a brunch date.

It was of no consequence whether we were tucking into eggs benedict at 11 or 11.30, but she interpreted my concern for my son as disregard for her.

Recognise that a father’s love for his children is paramount, or should be.

Trying to compete with children for their dad’s affection is a catastrophic strategy that will end in tears – yours.

So here is my advice about dating people with kids.

Take from it what you will: Wait Even though my boyfriend was eager to introduce me to his kiddo early on, we waited a long time before it actually happened.

Early dinner to accommodate the babysitter's schedule. Let me be clear: I'm talking about responsible single dads — those who pay child support, invest time in their children and, you know, do what fathers are supposed to do.

“I know it’s against your nature,” she said,”but when it comes to his kids, be a cat, not a dog. (Beth Reno)David’s daughters are sweet and smart, loving and funny and generous and affectionate … I tried to relax, think of the stretch of time ahead of us, remind myself there’s no rush.

You’re going to want to hug them and bond with them, but it’ll be better if you relax and hang back. I had already fallen in love with their father, so what would I do if they didn’t like me? “He’s a director,” I told my friend L., absently fiddling with the lighter in my hand. Because my own parents are divorced, I know what it’s like when Dad has a girlfriend.

Wait for them to come to you.”The advice came from my dear friend Jennifer, who has a stepfamily of her own and understands that it takes time and patience to blend and bond. Months later, in a quiet moment, I told the girls as much, and let them know it’s OK to have any range of feelings about all this.

But life had gotten busy, and for a few days I was swiping right on Coffee Meets Bagel without my normal due diligence. Both seemed nice, but I was having trouble keeping them... Like a puppy dog, I wanted to cuddle up to them and play, but I remembered her advice not to overwhelm them, so I pretended like this was all no big deal, and tried to find the feline inside.




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